Bangalore Days (complete story) By Kamran

JK News Live

Written By: Kamran Hamid Bhat/JK News Live

It had just stopped raining in Koramangala when Her sister stepped out of the Beauty and Hair Salon “ELLEXIR SALON”. She came out after 4 hours I was surprised to see her after her new salon look. She felt very similar to me as her sister used to look after her salon looks. I still remember i sometimes had to sleep outside on the benches of salons (she used to visit) for long hours. “Those days” mesmerized while looking at her face i know what you are thinking Kamran Sometimes we have to leave everything behind and just move forward Sehrin said while scrolling through her mobile phone. By the time we reached home the whole Bangalore City was covered into a bold blanket of darkness. Sehrin went to her room to refresh herself and i went to the drawing room and started stalking pictures of my beloved (Mehrin)

She was so beautiful (a female voice spoke) it was her mom

So how was your day son?

It was good i replied in a low voice

I came to Bangalore a day after my College exams finished in Srinagar and finally i had a sign of relief. So you both (Sehrin and Me) are leaving tomorrow for Nandi Hills She Said ‘No i am not going anywhere ‘ i was just joking

What? She said angrily you always loved mountains how could you miss this moment now. I swallowed hard and said relax Amma i was just joking to which she smiled and went off to her room while saying the dinner is on the table please go and have it

After a while i walked towards the dinning room. The dinning room was smelling great and i discovered after lifting the lids of the bowls kept on the table for me that the appetising aroma was of rajma- chawal. There was also some green chutney and salad kept on the side. This whole combination had been Mehrin’s favourite.

(I Miss You)

It was a cold night as it was heavily raining outside, but the night outside was less cold than my heart, which was frozen and numb. I was missing her badly. It’s like you think you made it to the very end, while in fact, it’s not the end of the deep dark tunnel you thought you were in. No. You are still a long way off from the end. It’s as if you fought bravely throughout the journey, you. went through all the tough times, and just when you thought it was all about to come to an end, you find out it’s anything but the end. You start losing then.

Life is so strange i was so affected by the turn of events in my life that i wanted to end myself permanently. I even tried it one night I took a Gillette blade with me into my room, placed it on my wrist but just could not gather enough courage to do it. I still remember i cried relentlessly that night. I felt ashamed not only for being held responsible for her death but also for my cowardly behaviour. I decided to give suicide another chance some days later. However in between My Mother stopped me.

It heavily rained the whole night Sehrin was continuously praying for the weather to be fine. The next morning i woke up with a pounding headache to a clear blue sky. After a quick breakfast we headed our destination to the Nandi Hills. But before that i went to her grave.

Dear Mehrin,

“My Love everything that i have is yours today and everyday my soul craves for your presence. I miss your smile. I miss lying down on the cold hard cemented terrace of your house and gazing at those stars for hours and hours. I miss your warm arms around me. I miss you like the soul misses its creator. I want to see you again through my eyes” I spent some time wandering around the graveyard till Sehrin called me “where are you? it’s getting late!”

(Restless Thoughts)

We booked cab halfway to the Nandi Hills. We were just two sitting in the back seat of the booked cab and as we were along the beautiful cury roads i saw a few friends on an Avenger Bike singing “Zindagi naa milegi doobara” at the top of their voices and enjoying their ride. ‘I looked out the cab window’ and thought

Why does love always strike at those hearts where only empty coffers of destiny are found in the destiny of the next one. If I had known that she was going to disappear within a few days from our lives I would have hugged her right then and there in the elevator. If I had known, I would have thanked her for the love she gave to me

She won many battles in her life physical, mental, and financial and She lost a few as well

But throughout all these outside battles, whenever we met, all she had for me, was a smile on her face.. and truly unconditional love and support.

As I walked out the ICU seeing her body frozen, and her hands joined together,I touched her feet one last time and thanked. her in tears for giving me everything that she could ever give Suddenly my phone vibrated and it broke the chains of all the thoughts that were emerging in me my phone’s vibration took me back to the current time as my thoughts had taken me 6 months back. These thoughts had made me restless these days

Hey Kamran! How was your flight you reached safely naa there

How are you? Sorry i was busy with my my university work i couldn’t call you

It was my mother

“Mehrin’s Sleepless Nights”

Six months back she was suffering from a mild fever I suggested her to go to the doctor but she refused after taking Aspirin. I went to next room to sleep at night around 1 AM while I was sleeping and dreaming my dream was interrupted by Mehrin’s shivering next to my room.

What happened “Mehrin” I said walking towards her room half opening my eyes. Kamran I am not feeling well please give me some more medicines I smiled and gave her the medicine. I am shivering with fever and you are busy dreaming of other girls. I again smiled and put a digital thermometer in her mouth. The thermometer reading got me worried “Mehrin” It’s 104 degrees. Lets go to the hospital no let’s just wait till morning she said “Can you please lie down and hug me “

I hugged her

Are you feeling okay?

Yes a little bit

Can I give you the compliment? I asked

Yes you are always welcome to do that she said in pain. Currently I am hugging the hottest girl in the world. And if I continue to hug for the next 1 hour I will be the hottest boy in the world. “Tharki” she hugged me more tightly. The next morning we consulted a doctor but nothing worked. After a few tests were done seeing her condition has worsened more the doctors said in a worried tone that we need her to shift to the ICU immediately. In the meantime her parents also came to the hospital. Her body and her eyes had turned pale yellow she vomited often and her nose started bleeding Her situation worsened more as she developed severe cardiac pain, vomiting and red patches on her skin and her condition kept worsening each hour since no one was allowed to stay in ICU the doctors said if anyone wants to see her

Her parents didn’t want to say goodbye to their daughter so they sent me inside the ICU. I was badly waiting to see her tears start rolling down my cheeks. Her body had swollen further as she showed no improvement.

When I went to the ICU I saw tubes going into her mouth. I went mad seeing machines take over human, I touched her palm and kissed it. I continued holding her hand, tears were rolling from my eyes. I tried to hide them as much as I could but failed miserably I started looking at her head and cheeks “you will be okay Mehrin don’t worry”. She called me close to her and said “I am okay Kamran”. She was breathing heavily and her mouth was filled with blood. I broke down in tears again and kissed her forehead. I was thinking about what to say to my darling while tears fell continuously from my eyes.

My heart was beating fast,my lips were dry and my emotions were at their peak. I was seeing her gasping with her mouth open and red blood visible around her lips and her eyes closed. It was the most horrifying moment of my life. I wish I could give her my breath and part of my life but I was helpless. I had never felt so helpless in my life. I started kissing her hand and then I kissed both her beautiful dimpled cheeks. I touched her eyes and mouth. She opened her eyes and looked at me. I kissed her forehead. With a great difficulty I said “I love you Mehrin”. She mumbled something put my ears close to her. She collected her strength and whispered with ragged breaths ‘I love you too Kamran’. As we both had the same blood group ( O-) doctors suggested to initate blood transfer.

Early in the morning doctors called us to the ICU ‘what happened sir?’ (her dad said) stiffening in fear (just come) my whole world went black. Her dad called someone on the phone and said ‘Mehrin’ has left us. Tears started running down my cheeks, I started feeling suffocated and went to the balcony with a heavy heart, with a heart full of pain. I started sobbing like a child.

Mir Taqi Mir Sahab Once Said:

Ulti Ho Gayi Sab Tadbeerein Kuchh Na Dawaa Ne Kaam Kiyaa

Dekha ! Is Beemaari-E-Dil Ne Aakhir Kaam Tammam Kiyaa

Ahad-E-Jawaani Ro Ro Kaata, Peeri Mein Li Aankhein Moond

Yaani Raat Bahut The Jaage, Subah Hui Aaraam Kiya

Bangalore Days

Phase 2

(HEALING)

(Srinagar Is Sad)

Sometimes the evening falls as if it were across the horizon, but dripping down inside us. Pink clouds from the sky are still visible in the sky long after sunset. It was one such sad evening. The evening that soaked the grey light in the hearts. The evening that turned space dark

Those who are not in our fate

Why do we meet them?

No matter how many times i questioned myself i always remained unanswered And in exchange for one question, i don’t know how many questions i had imprisoned myself. Really my thoughts have destroyed me more than blades ever could now. As I was deeply indulged in these scenes

It was perhaps the rumbling of the wheels of the aeroplane on the runway that awakened me from all these emerging thoughts. All these scenes in myself crushed after the aeroplane had landed at the Srinagar International Airport and was now slowly moving on the runway towards the parking area. According to the announcement of the air hostess, it was seven in the evening in Srinagar. The aeroplane had now been joined to its scheduled tube on the parking stand and one after the other the passengers were descending on the terminal by means of the tube. By the time I reached the airport lounge, the dim darkness was everywhere. The sad evening could be seen easily outside the glass wall of the airport lounge. Today the Srinagar International Airport seemed very quite or it seems every evening,I don’t know. After getting clearance from the airport officials i went outside the airport into the open atmosphere now. As soon as I went out I started searching for my father who had called me six times when my phone was on airplane mode in the airplane. I came to know about this when a notification alert flashed on my phone’s screen. There was no sign of him anywhere. At first I thought of calling him but later I came to know that I was running out of mobile recharge. Now I decided to wait for him or wait for his call in the parking area of the airport but later on thinking something else I picked up my backpack and started walking towards the benches of the ending terminal of the parking area of the airport.

“There’s a place inside my heart no one can touch or even reach it’s so quiet and fragile, I don’t want anyone to see or touch it but I’ll let you in just promise me to stay there forever with me” often i used to text this to her and in reply she used to send “what a beautiful thought” with a smiley emoji. These old haunts of her heart where the darkness thrives along with the darkness that was around me ate me alive. I was not aware of anything what is happening around me Only one thing I was aware of i am back to home but it’s not gonna be the same as it was. As long as I was busy in my thoughts my phone started ringing it was my father i answered the call where are you? He said

I reached home finally.

(A New Hope)

Months later my i resumed my studies and started going to college again because my mother never entertained my strange behaviour of staying at home all the day locked inside my room

It was 3 am and I was awake staring at my computer screen with my palms resting on the keyboard thinking about the first day of my college. And on top of that I was thinking about that charmer whose face and name made my eyes wet. After waiting outside the college gate for a few moments it was 11 am now. I started walking towards the college entrance and reached the assigned section ‘A’. At around 11:15 am some girls started entering the classroom. There were more girls than boys in the class. I settled in between two strange faces. In the back bench of the classroom I saw two love birds making promises of forever and showing priorities to each other I was casually looking at them when the girl looked behind and saw me stalking them. She immediately looked forward and started murmuring to her partner. I started cursing myself for this. I was thinking that I might have made them uncomfortable. Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted.

Good morning sir

Good morning students the professor replied

The professor started giving lecture on (Positron Emission) Tomography

After back to back lectures finally the day came to an end. I looked at the clock hanging in the front of the classroom at the top of the white board it was 3:50 pm. I started leaving the college and the bus stop was not too far from the college. The weather has gone warm now. I boarded the bus and went home.

Back in my bedroom it was already 4 am now and still sleep was far away from my eyes.

(ZARKA)

All the chapping laughters in the classroom were muted when my eyes stuck at a girl in the classroom. Everything stood still and it appeared as if with the help of a magical remote, someone had cast a spell on the whole gathering of students, making it motionless. She was sitting in front of me in a confused, frightened and petrified condition. under the cover of her long pink Dupatta (head covering or stole). She was attempting to protect herself from the eyes of the boys who were passing by in the classroom. In this process, with the mixture of pink colour, her gold like colour was further warming up. For a moment, she lifted her thick black eyebrows and forever, I was drowned into the ocean of those deep brown eyes. What a drastic change occurred in the twinkling of an eye. If people describe such events as sudden attacks of love, it was indeed the most merciless and most relentless attack that I had ever experienced in my life. I knew not, who that girl was, clad in pink dress. When compared to her exquisitely delicate appearance, the whole gathering appeared to be a coarse rug (Aus ke samnein sab kuch pheekha lag raha tha) while she herself looked like a patch of velvet in that rug. She looked like a fairy.

Hey Zarka! you also have been assigned section (A) ( a girl from the class entrance door convey to her) i started murmuring with myself

(Ohh toh iss naazneein ka naam Zarka hai)

(Venom Of Love)

Till the end of the first semester I started feeling her presence with me, at every moment of the night and day. I had heard a large number of romantic and amorous tales but till then, I had never known that the stinging of love could be so venomous. Within a single moment, the venom of love had pierced into each and every limb, bone, tissue and muscle of my body and I felt as if I had been destined to suffer all the time.

Love takes possession of a man like a painful torment which continues to bite and sting him if it happens to be a one sided affair. He lives and dies again and again and this keeps going on in the course of a single moment I was utterly unable to find some ways and means of conveying to Zarka the strong and intense feelings of love which I had for her. My nights and days started being spent in Prayers my heart and brain were internally fighting with each other i used to think a thousand possibilities in seconds like

(What will I do if she’s already committed?)

(What if didn’t accepted my love?)

(How can I express my pain to her?)

(How to convey her what has happened to me after seeing her?)

(The Plan)

And one evening it looked like my prayers were accepted on such that evening I was sitting on the roof of my house watching the sunset.

When a notification popped on my phone from my college. That made me blush

Our college was going to hold a writing competition before the beginning of 2nd semester and they had made a number of groups with 2 members each in 1 group luckily I saw my and her name in the same group I was so happy finally I could spend some time with her it looked like i have already won the war then I made a plan. I couldn’t express my feelings verbally to her. So According to the plan i have to write my feelings on a paper.

The competition day came on that day, she was in black dress and was looking all the more fascinating in her black and head covering. Time and again, I was visualizing her trembling eye lashes, quivering lips and a scattered strand of hair. Standing outside in the classroom for a while, I attempted to regain control over my nerves. I spent that whole day with her listening to her talks but I would have listened to her talks if I could survive from her deep brown eyes.

(Jadu tha aun ankhoon mein

Aur laboon pe tona mein bad-bhakt

Bachta bhi toh kaise)

I definitely was not interested in competition my interest was something else. She used to take my heart out when she used to say (Huzoor). According to my plan I gave her the letter before leaving from the college gate. She took it and kept it in her bag i finally got a sign of relief at least she took it my chest started feeling light now. Now the only thing was I had to wait for the response.

(ZARU)

I was restlessly awaiting Zaru’s response. I only wanted to hear it immediately and without any delay, no matter what it would be. For me it looked like i have done a crime and now was waiting for court’s judgement.

My heart was desperate for another contact or encounter with my beloved (ZARU) at any cost. Wait my heart had given her a nickname Ya Khuda! Shut up Kamran stop acting like a child i started scolding myself. I only wished

To hear my name from her lips even if she mentioned my name in an offensive or abusive manner. When a person is in love, his heart begins to behave like a little child yeah finally I realised why I gave her nickname.

People say that whatever God does is for the good. After Zaru came into my life I blindly started believing this. I couldn’t gather words to admire her beauty, her care towards me. If bowing someone except Allah wouldn’t haraam (prohibited) in Islam i would have done it in front of Zaru

Sitting on the window of my room thinking I am so lucky to have Zaru in my life now, i will never forget even a second spent with her

(her curvy smiles her dimple on her left cheek, her deep brown eyes her braid everything is in my heart), every word spoken (You Are Mine Forever I Love You Loads), every sunset (when we were together), every sound (the road traffic (honking) which used to disturb us) or people who used to disturb us Zaru you are my home, my safe place.

She was answer to all my unanswered questions.

Written By: Kamran Hamid Bhat

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